Friday, February 4, 2011

Help Wanted

Like so many in this freaky economy, our adorable editor Martin likes to take an occasional peek at the craigslist classifieds. You never know when the next cinematic genius-in-the-making is looking for a willing hand to help them with their no-budget feature film. Or when someone has blindly wandered into this unfocused classified wasteland hoping to find an experienced editor for a real gig.

Martin reports: "Sometimes though, I find what I really came for, a truly choice bit of prose. This appeared last week:"

Looking for a video editor for a project

Date: 2011-01-26, 8:31PM CST
Reply to:

Hello I have an editing projects I need help with. I have footage of a duck that used to live in our pond. We recorded between 3 - 6 hours worth of footage following her around the pond, of us feeding, and eventually of her not making through the winter and dying. I would like something similar to an introduction to a national geographic show. With the cool editing and background music. She ended up passing away, so I want it to also be sad. So I need something with experience combining sad music with the video. I think you have enough good footage for about a 2 - 4 min video.

If you are interested please let me know. If you have a demo real or something you can show me. You must have paypal.

  • • It's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
  • • Compensation: no pay

I forwarded this to a film composer friend of mine (who, despite his email address, is not Nikolai Rimsky-Korsakov, the 19th century father of modern classical music) and he took the bait:

Subject: Re: Wanna help me with the music?
Date: February 2, 2011 3:01:03 PM CST

What a touching story!
I would love to work with you on this.
I did get very inspired and wrote a couple of things for you…

Main Titles: Duck Title

And for when the Duck passes away: Dead Duck

Let me know what you think?


I replied as gently as I could:

Subject: Re: Wanna help me with the music?


Date: February 3, 2011 4:12:46 PM CST


Dear Mr. Korsakov,

Thank you for your recent submission. We have consulted with our client and it is with great disappointment we inform you that he feels the works you composed do not lend the proper sobriety nor grandeur to this tragic tale. Should you come up with something a bit more solemn and stately, something a bit more befitting a dead duck —perhaps a variation on your Flight of the Bumblebee in 1/8 time— we would be happy to consider it.

Yours Truly,

Martin Nelson

Mr. Korsakov replied with something unprintable in this family-friendly forum. Should he offer any further attempts, you will hear them here first at the weetu blog.

Your correspondent,

Purple Martin

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